How to be Right, when you are Wrong

If you get into an argument with someone regarding some fact and it turns out you are wrong, here is what you do. Place a wager on who is correct. I like $20, people seem to go for that. Hop on your computer and hit wikipedia.org Search for the topic in question and press the "edit" button. Change the entry to match your side of the argument. Tell them to look it up in wikipedia. collect your money. ProTip: You will have between 5 minutes and a couple of days before someone finds your "correction".

RFD vs the Spider Infestation

Tuesday April 7th, 7:50pm I head out into my garage to stomp on some of those evil creatures. Turning the garage light on causes them to scatter so I act fast. This time I get 7 of them. I head back into the house and continue watching the Canucks game. I can't really concentrate on the game as I try to figure out why I have so many of these wolf spiders in my garage and how I can get rid of them. Oh well, I can go get another 10 or so during the second intermission. Tuesday, April 7th, 8:30pm Round two was impressive, I got at least twelve. One of them was a fast bugger and made it into under a shelf so I grab a can of RAID and give him a good fogging. For added effect I fog a few other areas that I feel would be home to a wolfie or two. I have spent the better part of this week studying wolf spider behavior online so I know where they like to hide. Know your foe. Just for kicks I spray the stairs in front of the door leading back into my house. I know that my can of "Raid house and garden" is hardly effective on them but it does slow them down at least. Sometimes it is best to weaken your enemy before you strike. Tuesday, April 7th, 9:00pm Watching the third period of the Canucks game was enjoyable, especially with the thought of how clever I was spraying Raid into the garage in the back of my mind. My cat who is sitting watching the game with me shoots his attention to my left and his hair stands up on his back. I follow his gaze and see a sick sight. "You must be the king" I say as my cat approaches him for a closer look. Like a shot this golf ball sized Monstrosity darts across my living room directly towards my TV. My cat has been trained since a kitten to kill spiders and he tries his best. A couple of bats with his paw and a good solid stomp proves useless and the Monster keeps up his speed. He stops and stands perched on the base of my TV stand, looking me right in the eyes with his evil hair filled face. "He thinks this is his house" I thought. I grabbed a recently purchased sheet set, still in its wrapper from my laundry room and returned to see the Basement Monster still sitting on my TV stand. "Get him Bubbles!" I yelled (yes, my cat's name is Bubbles). Bubbles flanks the beast sending him sprinting away from the TV into the middle of the room. With every ounce of strength in my body I slam the sheet set onto the spider, nearly putting him through the concrete floor. The sheets bounced up and off the fallen monster revealing his golf ball sized carcass. Bubbles sees a snack sitting there and spends the next 5 minutes eating his prize. I will not stand for this threat to my home's sovereignty, mine is a human and cat only state. Monstrous spider invaders are not welcome and there must be a retaliatory strike. After a couple of minutes planning, my strike is set. I will attack their homeland tomorrow after I am off work. They will learn that regardless of the might of their troops, they are no match for me. During all this I lost my concentration completely on the Canucks game, missing a good portion of the third period. Wednesday, April 8th, 4:30pm I just got off work. Heading to the hardware store to buy my weapons I feel an uncomfortable anxiousness. This is the calm before the storm, D-Day if you will. If I keep to my game plan and provide myself with the appropriate equipment I can win this war. No, I will win this war; I must. I purchase my weapons, put them into my car and head to the battlefield. Thursday, April 8th, 5:15pm I pull up my driveway and turn off the car. Holding a can of Spider Blaster in each hand I run full speed into the garage screaming and howling, with black warpaint on my face and chest. I kick obstructions out of my way and blast. I first create a "poison perimeter" to kill any of my enemies that try to escape. With the perimeter in place, I start the assault. I empty two full cans of Spider Blaster into a mushroom cloud of spider death, laughing maniacally the entire time. Spider Blaster proves to also be sinus blaster as my eyes and nose start to burn. "Collateral damage!" I yell to the foggy garage, "Bring it on". A third can is emptied into all of the possible places that the Basement Monster could have used to breach my security. His brethren will never make it past my defenses now. With three empty Spider Blaster cans in my holster and burning eyes I stand victorious. Not a spider in sight. I enjoy my conquest for a moment and then give myself a good solid eyewash and cleanup. Thursday, April 8th, 8:45pm I head out to the wreckage of my garage to see the aftermath of my afternoon assault. I could not find a single living spider, or other insect for that matter. Nothing left now but a memory and a mess to vacuum up tomorrow. There is nothing that an irrational fear translated into violence can't accomplish.

The Rogers Bill

Rogers has been sending me a weekly bill for $0.00 outstanding on an account I canceled months ago at work. Since it is Friday I thought I would play their game a little bit and I mailed them a response. The Bill: My Response

Time to Change the Postal Service

Canada Post, once a key agency in the development and success of Canada has outlived its usefulness in its current form. Before email, before faxes and even before the telephone, mail was an important communication tool. Soldiers communicated with friends and family during wars using the postal service. Postmen took pride that no weather condition would keep them from delivering your mail. When compared to other government employees, the Canada Post mail carriers were excellent workers. The sun has now set on Canada Post. Mailing letters to friends and family is over, replaced by email. Businesses rely on faxes and email for instant communication. UPS, Purolator and FedEx handle shipping. Think about the mail you have received in the last month. You may still get utility bills, but they can easily be switch to online bill payments. The other 90% of your mail is junk. Canada Post is subsidized now by junk mail. Coupons, advertisements, and pizza flyers make up the majority of mail nowadays. There is no legitimate need for Canadian citizens to have daily postal service. We could drop postal service down to 1 day a week and nothing of value would be lost.